What To Do Before Finding Someone- First Chapter Of My Book!

So, I have started writing a book, and I would like to post the preface as well as the first chapter in this blog. This chapter focuses on what one must do before trying to find "the one." This is the only chapter I will be posting on the blog because I hope to someday publish this self-help book.

I hope you guys enjoy, and I am sorry I haven't been posting anything for a while!!!!

Preface

I know from experience that relationships require a lot of work. What is even more frustrating, is that not only do relationships require maintenance work, but also work before you find a relationship. I think of a relationship as if it were a job. It requires a lot of investing in yourself, a lot of upkeep and a lot of stress. Think of your partner as your customer. You must sell him your product (yourself) when you first meet him, then you must keep him interested enough to come back (to get dates).

Enjoy this book and remember, everybody has the tools to find love and make it last.

Chapter One: Improving yourself

Before you go and look for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you must look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you see someone who is perfect in every way, including looks, personality and intelligence, or do you need to invest in yourself and make yourself better? If you found that you are perfect in every way, look at the checklist below. If you don’t meet certain criteria on this list, it means that you need to work on it.

• My hair is in perfect shape. (Length, color, shape)
•         My face is clear and clean. (No zits or pimples, no blemishes.)
•         My body is one that I am comfortable in.
•         My closet is full of beautiful clothes.
•         I am not insecure about myself.
•         I am open minded.
•         I am kind and caring.
•         I consider myself smart.
•         I can keep a conversation going.
•         I am NOT too picky.

If you have not checked 2 or more things from the above checklist, listen closely. First of all, you are wonderful. Keep repeating that to yourself day after day until you believe it. Second, you can be better. If you listen to my tips on how to improve yourself, you will be the best you can be, and it will be great. So here are some ways to make yourself the hottest thing that walked this earth:

Looks:

Now many people will continuously argue the point I am going to try to make. Looks are important. They are very important. My cousin has always argued with me on this point because she strongly believes that if a guy or girl is to love you, he or she should love you for who you are, not how you look. Well here is a news flash that all of you should know:

!!!LOOKS ARE WHAT SELL YOU!!!

If you must, tattoo it on your head so that you can see this sentence every time you look in the mirror. The truth, as brutal as it is, is that no guy or girl will go for someone who looks like they don’t care about themselves. As they say, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover,” but everyone still does. Even if you have a wonderful personality and no cover to sell that, no one will look twice. But don’t be discouraged! I know I might sound like one hell of a bitch, but I am here to help you. There are many things you can do to improve your looks.

First of all, focus on your face. If it is blemished, buy creams and face washes that will get rid of them. I know it costs a bit of money, but you are investing in yourself and I guarantee you that you will not be sorry.

Second, if you are a woman, start wearing makeup. Some girls hate makeup and I understand that, but a little bit of makeup goes a long way. Now I am definitely NOT talking about caking on a lot of makeup, because that looks terrible. I am trying to introduce the idea of natural makeup with simple outlining of the eyes for them to stand out. No coverup is needed if you have clear skin. Lipgloss is also something I would not recommend because it looks greasy. Just try to make your features brighter.

Now if you are a man, you obviously don’t need makeup. What you do need however, is a clear face that is well groomed. A rugged look is not sexy unless you know how to achieve a specific rugged look.

Intelligence:

Yes, intelligence is important even when it comes to finding someone. There is a very good reason why intelligence is key. The reason is that if you are intelligent enough and know things, you will not run out of things to talk about on your date. You don’t want to sit in silence while on a date right? That would just be awkward. Intelligence is also important in later life. Let’s say you meet the perfect person, you are engaged to them, you marry them. Then they need your advice on how to do something or what decision to make. If you can’t give an answer, it will be awkward. 

Personality:

Now this is key. If you are a beautiful person with Einstein’s brain and a disgusting personality, your relationships will NOT last. You must know that after a while, your looks will be meaningless to the person you are with, and your intelligence will not be as appreciated. Personality on the other hand is the thing that holds the relationship together after 5 years. 

Being kind and caring is key. If you are able to relate to your partner in the future and care for him/her, he or she will stay with you for as long as you want. If you act like a monster 24/7, your partner will get fed up in the end and will get rid of you. 

Now many of you will think, “This bitch is crazy, I can’t change my personality because I was born this way!” That is not true in any way shape or form. You can change your personality as easily as you can change your underwear. You need to want it. You need to practice it. You need to transform yourself.

I know you can do it and so do you.

This chapter was a little rough on you and I understand that but bear with me. Just learn to trust me enough to trust that my advice will benefit you and your love life. 

On the next page, you can put your before and after picture, to see what dramatic changes you have gone through. You can also write how you are feeling about yourself and your personality. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this blog, and I really hope it helps all of you who are looking for that special someone!!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

How To Deal With A Breakup?

Lets just say that all of a sudden it seems as though your world has come crashing down, and you and your guy broke up. The feeling is terrible. You feel like you will never find another guy, you feel like its the end of the world, you feel like you are the most miserable person on earth. But at some point, you must make the effort to deal with the situation and move on. Here are a few tips on how to move on.

1. Don't stop taking care of yourself. It is very common that when a girl and guy break up, the girl feels like she has nobody to impress anymore and completely stop taking care of herself. You DONT want to do that because if you feel good about yourself, you will get over the relationship quicker. You also need to remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you need to impress those fishes!

2. Don't ignore other guys. It must be hard when you have just lost the guy you love, but it is likely that the guy was not the one for you if you two broke up. Start talking to other guys, maybe you will be so lucky as to find the ONE.

3. Take the time being single to have fun. When you are in a relationship, you will not be as free as you are when you are single. Take the time to enjoy yourself! Spend time with your girlfriends, have fun, FLIRT!

4. Don't EVER sit at home doing nothing after a breakup. Keep yourself busy. From my own experience I know that when you just ended a relationship and sit at home, all you think about is your ex guy. On the other hand, if you keep yourself busy with your friends, hobbies and other things, you will not have time to think of your ex!

So girls, the fact that you just got out of a relationship is NOT the end of the world. It just means that a better person is coming your way. Don't beat yourself up on why it didn't work, don't stress about it at all. HAVE A POSITIVE OUTLOOK. I know its hard but its important to live for the future, not in the past. Goodluck!

Assess Your Relationship! (Helpful Notes!)

So this blog is going to be about healthy relationships. I know I wrote about this before, but that day, I received new information about healthy relationships from my university, therefore the credit goes to Woodbury.


 I scanned two things that will help you know whether your relationship is healthy or not. Here they are!

This will help you assess your relationship

The Equality Wheel

I hope this is helpful!!!!

Is He Cheating? Why?

The biggest fear a girl can have during a relationship is that her guy is, will or was cheating. I know how stressful it can be when you suspect the one you love of cheating. So here are some signs that he is cheating on you, although none of them mean that he is unfaithful for sure. (Credit goes to www.ivilliage.com "32 Emotional Signs That He Is Cheating.")
1. Your guy is much more attentive and loving than usual. Now you are probably thinking, "isn't that a good thing?". Well yes, it might be. But it might also mean that he feels guilty for cheating and wants to make up for it.

2. Your guy is all of a sudden buying you gifts. Once again, it might be a good thing, or it might mean that he is, again, trying to make up for his guilt.

3. Your guy fights with you out of nowhere. This is also bad and might mean that he is trying to find an excuse to leave the house, or wherever you two are, so that he can meet his other girl.

4. Your guy always brings up the topic of your relationship ending. This is never a good thing. Its a big sign that he is cheating and wants another girl.

5. Your guy is always moody around you and acts depressed when he is with you. This might mean that he is just in a bad mood. However if you see that he all of a sudden turns happy when he is leaving, he is probably cheating.

6. You and your guy are living together yet he never talks to you. Thats a big warning sign!

7. Your guy stops complimenting you on your appearance. Either he lost interest, or he finds someone else more attractive.

8. A BIG one! If he stops telling you he loves you, watch out.

9. Your guys starts acting guilty and upset when you do something for him. This is because he knows he is betraying you, and your kindness reminds him of what an idiot he is!

10. Your guy accuses YOU of cheating without evidence. Now I listed the major signs, but you can look deeper into it by going to the website I provided above.

After having read this, you must wonder why guys cheat? Its hard to understand why, but there are a few reasons why a guy would find it necessary to cheat. (Some credit goes to www.divinecaroline.com "Ten Reasons Men Cheat.")

1. It boosts their ego. If you don't make your guy feel attractive or wanted, he will go and try to see how many girls he can get in order to feel good about himself.

2. You argue a lot. Trust me, no matter how much a guy loves you, he wants to feel like he is safe with you. If you don't provide him with that safety, he will find it elsewhere.

3. They just don't love you anymore. This is pretty self explanatory.

4. Your intimate love life is bad. If you don't let him be with you, he will be with someone else.

I know it sounds harsh but most of the time, he cheats because of you. Just try to look at your mistakes and try to improve yourself and then you are GUARANTEED to have a happy, healthy relationship! GOOD LUCK!